If you lived through the ’90s and/or early 2000s, you know that the snack game was on another level, for better or for worse. As in, there was nothing better than munching on 3D Doritos during a road trip, but nothing worse than biting into a Domino’s Oreo Pizza.
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With so many brands jumping on the nostalgia train lately, and people hoping for the return of their childhood favorites, I wanted to address an important question: were these foods actually good or is it just the nostalgia talking? Personally, I have some hot takes on discontinued foods that deserve a comeback and ones that are past their glory days. Here’s my definitive list:
1.BRING IT BACK: Altoids Sours
I can physically feel my tongue burning just thinking of these bad boys. There was truly no better way to make friends as a kid than cracking open this aluminum tin and watching the crowds swarm.
Unfortunately, Altoids Sours haven’t been around since 2010 due to nationally low sales. The cult following is still strong, though, with petitions to bring them back and DIY recipes you can follow if you need your sour fix.
unclelou52 / Via shorturl.at
2.GLAD IT’S GONE: Heinz EZ Squirt Ketchup
How did our parents ever let us consume this neon mystery goo?! It wasn’t even legally allowed to be called “tomato ketchup.” I would also like to have words with whoever came up with this name and thought, “Yeah, that sounds marketable.”
The last time this ungodly “ketchup” could weasel its way into our homes was in 2006, when it was ultimately discontinued due to concerns over the chemical process needed to achieve the bright, neon colors.
Heinz / Getty Images / Via gettyimages.com
3.BRING IT BACK: Scooby-Doo Gummies (the original)
Ripping open one of these packets and finding a higher ratio of opaque light blue gummies definitely meant you were one of the chosen ones. To this day, I can’t describe the flavor, but I do know they were superior.
In the end, the concern over artificial foods made no exception with these and they were eventually reformulated in 2015 after General Mills committed to removing artificial flavors and colors from their fruit snacks.
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4.GLAD IT’S GONE: Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug
Whoever looked at a stick of gum and thought, “Let’s dehydrate it,” wanted to see the world burn. This chalky gum dust was one of the more bizarre inventions of the ’90s that just vanished with no warning.
No one really knows when or why it was discontinued, but that isn’t stopping people from demanding its return.
Oh! Nuts / Via ohnuts.com
5.BRING IT BACK: Burger King Shake ‘Em Up Fries
I have no idea how these ended up being a flop. This was absolutely the pinnacle of fast food: fun, customizable, and chock full of sodium.
I haven’t been able to shake up my fries with bright orange cheese powder since Burger King quietly removed them in the early 2000s and I’ve been stripped of joy ever since.
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6.BRING IT BACK: Swoops
I don’t know if it was just my silly little nine-year-old tastebuds or if the Pringles-like shape of these actually made them better than normal chocolate, but I’m convinced it was the latter.
This whimsical chocolate left us lives forever in 2006. Although Hershey’s never gave a clear reason why, it’s suspected that consumers found the shape rather pointless and misleading.
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7.GLAD IT’S GONE: Hubba Bubba Squeeze Pops
The ’90s and early aughts were truly a lawless time. I cannot believe I was allowed to ingest this bright green liquid sugar tube as a child. Huge shoutout to my dentist for all the cavity fillings.
This was yet another Hubba Bubba product that left without a trace. But if you’re REALLY craving a liquid lollipop and have a decent dental plan, Ooze Tubes are a pretty good dupe.
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8. BRING IT BACK: Doritos 3D
@baheezus / Via Twitter: @baheezus
Okay, before you tell me these have made a grand return, I want you to know that I’m aware, and they’re not the same. Let’s also not forget about the Cheetos and Lay’s versions that never had a comeback of their own.
This wonderful Dorito thermos was discontinued in 2004 and re-released in 2020 with two new flavors: Spicy Ranch and Chili Cheese Nacho. But real ones know nothing will ever compare to the original.
9.GLAD IT’S GONE: Four Loko (the original)
It’s absolutely wild to think we were all downing a drink with 12% ABV, caffeine, taurine, guarana, and wormwood before our prefrontal cortex had fully developed.
Colleges began banning this “blackout in a can” in 2010, which prompted Four Loko to change its formula by removing the caffeine. A black market for the original recipe began popping up before quickly getting shut down, but some still claim to have a few of the original cans.
Joe Raedle / Getty Images
10.BRING IT BACK: Ritz Bits S’mores
My deepest condolences if you were never able to experience the joy of finding these in your lunchbox. Ritz hit their peak with this one and I can’t imagine any other flavor will ever live up to it.
Everyone’s favorite lunchtime snack was discontinued in 2016, but a lucky few were actually able to win a box last year through a social media sweepstakes. I’ve never been more jealous of 300 strangers.
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11.GLAD IT’S GONE: Taco Bell Waffle Taco
I’ll admit, I’ve never tried this one. Could be because Taco Bell gave me a bout of food poisoning in 2006. Could be because it looks absolutely bonkers.
There’s no real way of finding out since Taco Bell removed this monstrosity from their breakfast menu only a year after launching it. In an attempt to fill the waffle-sized hole in everyone’s heart, the taco biscuit was introduced shortly after only to also mysteriously disappear off the menu.
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12.BRING IT BACK: Nesquik Cereal
If someone ever asked me to describe my childhood, I would simply answer with, “Nesquik Cereal.” It was like Cocoa Puffs’ cooler older sibling.
Unfortunately, Nestle discontinued this gem in the US, but you can still find it in Canada and Europe! It’s the main reason I visit my relatives, TBH.
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13.GLAD IT’S GONE: Pepsi Blue
Please don’t hate me, but I could never get on board with this berry-cotton-candy-cola hybrid. It felt like drinking a blue slushee with a whisper of Pepsi.
It was originally discontinued in 2004, but brought back for a limited time in 2021 to the joy of many blue-tongued super fans. Let’s hope that was its final ride.
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14.BRING IT BACK: Pillsbury Waffle Sticks
Was this waffle recipe any different from other frozen waffles? Not really. Did it somehow taste better than the rest of them? Absolutely.
Even if you weren’t a fan or never tried these, this 2003 commercial should unlock a few memories. Sadly, we haven’t been able to dip our waffles in artificially dyed high-fructose corn syrup in ages since Pillsbury scrapped them.
Pillsbury / Via youtube.com
15.GLAD IT’S GONE: Domino’s Oreo Pizza
I’m a firm believer that Domino’s is one of the few fast food places that got better with age, which explains why their earlier desserts were so horrible. This pizza truly tastes like vanilla cardboard.
There are some pretty scathing reviews of this thing, which is probably why Domino’s decided to finally ax it from their menu shortly after its release in 2007.
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16.BRING IT BACK: Kudos Bars
These were pretty much just masquerading candy bars as a healthy snack, and I’m not mad about it.
According to a 2017 Facebook post, Mars made the controversial decision to discontinue these sugary granola bars with no explanation. All we got was a, “Sorry for the inconvenience!” and let me tell you, the inconvenience doesn’t even begin to cover my extreme disappointment.
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17.GLAD IT’S GONE: Squeezits
I’m not going to deny the novelty and appeal of these. I mean, what kid doesn’t want to chug on a neon bottle of sugar water? But between the color and sugar content, I think it’s best that they’re not around anymore.
To the disappointment of ’90s kids, Squeezits were discontinued in 2001 after sales started to decline. I guess we’ll all have to settle for Kool-Aid Bursts, which somehow managed to dodge the health concerns of parents.
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18.BRING IT BACK: Choco Tacos
This was one of the most tragic food losses I’ve ever experienced. Choco Tacos changed the ice cream sandwich game and nothing else will ever come close.
Klondike announced they were discontinuing this genius dessert in 2022, leaving every millennial absolutely shocked. But don’t lose hope just yet! Last August Klondike tweeted that they’re “hoping to bring this favorite treat back.”
I honestly just hope that ice cream trucks are doing okay after this one.
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